Before Jeffrey Dahmer became one of the most notorious serial killers in American history, he struggled to maintain a relationship with his brother David Dahmer.
The convicted murderer was born in 1960 to parents Joyce and Lionel Dahmer, and David followed seven years later. After their parents split in 1978, when Jeffrey was 18, David went on to grow up in a separate home.
“The brothers had issues while growing up together as they competed for the love of their late mother Joyce,” retired FBI profiler Dan Craft claimed in an interview for the 2023 docuseries My Son Jeffrey: The Dahmer Family Tapes.
After their turbulent childhoods, Jeffrey went on to kill 17 boys and men in Milwaukee, between 1978 and 1991, picking up his victims across the city and engaging in cannibalism and necrophilia. After a victim was able to escape alive in 1991, Jeffrey was arrested and later convicted of his crimes. Following two and a half years in prison, he was killed on Nov. 28, 1994, when fellow inmate Christopher Scarver beat him and another prisoner to death.
The Dahmer name has become synonymous with Jeffrey’s crimes, but his family has attempted to live normal lives in the years since. After Jeffrey was convicted of his crimes, his brother David committed to staying out of the public eye.
So where is David Dahmer now? Here’s a look at his upbringing with Jeffrey Dahmer and how he disappeared from the spotlight following his brother’s murders over 30 years ago.
Who is David Dahmer?
Jeffrey and his brother David had a difficult home life. According to Newsweek, though there was no reported physical abuse inflicted on the Dahmer children, there was alleged neglect.
Joyce, who died in 2000, allegedly suffered from mental health struggles and Lionel, who died in 2023, had difficulties dealing with them. A scientist, he instead retreated to his lab, reportedly leaving Jeffrey and David without consistent attention.
“When we talk about a traumatic childhood, it doesn’t have to be physical,” true crime touring company Crime Viral founder Cheish Merryweather told the publication about Jeffrey’s upbringing. “It can be stressful events such as this. From a young age, he was retiring to this fantasy world to deal with what’s going on around him.”
Were Jeffrey and David close growing up?
Jeffrey and David’s relationship appeared to be complicated. Jeffrey was more shy, while David was outgoing, and due to their seven-year age gap, they had a hard time bonding, as Lionel told Larry King in 2004.
“They enjoyed themselves as brothers, but there was always that seven years’ difference in interests, so they weren’t as close as someone maybe that was one or two years different,” he said on the late-night show.
Lionel added, “He [Jeffrey] loved him [David]. But many times, he just tolerated him because his younger brother was so expressive and active that sometimes he got on his nerves.”
After their parents separated in 1978, and accused each other “with extreme cruelty and gross neglect of duty,” Joyce was given custody of David, while Jeffrey stayed with Lionel, per Brian Masters’ 1993 biography The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer.
“There was much discussion and worry over who should have custody of David and where he would live, but no thought was ever given as to what should happen to Jeff, or where he would be expected to live,” Masters claimed in his book.
What did David know about Jeffrey’s crimes?
In his 1994 book A Father’s Story, Lionel wrote that he saw warning signs of Jeffrey’s crimes to come.
While he was a child, David may have also witnessed some of his brother’s troubling behavior, like Jeffrey’s animal dissection. Since David was so young, he allegedly thought his brother was just being kind to the dead animals.
“David Dahmer knew about the animal graveyard and thought his brother was ‘doing a good service’ by burying dead creatures,” Masters claimed in his book.
Where is David Dahmer now?
Following Jeffrey’s 1991 arrest and sentencing the following year, David decided to disappear from the public eye. Lionel and his second wife, Shari Dahmer, sat down with Larry King in 2004 and gave an update on David’s life, noting that he had changed his name to escape public attention.
“We’ve promised to keep him completely secret,” Lionel said. His stepmom added, “He has a career … Everything is going well.”
The couple also shared that David had a family of his own and was expecting his second child. Lionel added, “He’s happy.”
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