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What does Veterans Day mean to you?
The prevailing narrative seems to be that veterans are broken, that they need our care either because of physical or mental problems they are experiencing. While this is certainly true for some who need our deepest support, there is another level to our veterans and their families that’s often overlooked in this time of “thank you for your service.”
I retired after nearly 23 years in service, mostly in Special Operations, and then spent the last 15 years as a professional storyteller, writing and performing plays about our military community and the Afghanistan War. I learned a lot about how military service is perceived in our country while I toured 40 cities, performed for thousands, and led talkbacks with civilians and veterans from all walks of life. Here is what I learned:
Our veterans and their families possess a sense of purpose. They have unique skills for navigating stress and the capacity for connecting across diverse points of view and backgrounds that could light the path for our divided, politically consumed nation.
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Here are three examples of veteran leaders who are impacting our country right now.
1. Ben Owen barely made it into his enlistment before an injury took him down, resulting in a medical discharge. Homelessness, crime and deep opioid addiction soon followed. Staggering in and out of trap houses in South Memphis, Ben somehow found his way into a 12-step program and escaped South Memphis to get clean but vowed to return for the forgotten souls he left behind.
Thanks to local judges, law enforcement and business owners who took an interest in Ben’s mission, he and his wife Jess are currently turning entire neighborhoods around by working with law enforcement and citizens to push out dealers, gangs and traffickers, and then transforming South Memphis dope houses into hope houses through his nonprofit, We Fight Monsters.
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2. Elisha “Perk” Perkins was a communications officer in the Army deployed to the deadly Korengal Valley of Death in 2011 when her vehicle hit a roadside bomb that evicted her from the vehicle and killed everyone else. She then faced three separate battles with cancer that nearly took her life each time.
As she fought depression and the desire to end her life, she was motivated by a friend to start a nonprofit that trained service dogs for veterans, based on her own relationship with a failed duck dog named “Toby,” which she had successfully trained herself. Today, Perk operates Pop Smoke for Vets. She has provided service dogs to dozens of veterans.
3. Kari Ellis grew up on a Chippewa Indian Reservation in Michigan, experiencing poverty and hardship at an early age. She fought her way out of a traumatic childhood and married a go-getter Air Force non-commissioned officer named Carl. For more than two decades, Kari held her little family together while Carl deployed time and again to Iraq, Afghanistan and other rough places.
The weight of deployments and medical issues took their toll, and Kari lost her husband to suicide not long after he retired. For a while, she returned to that place of despair she’d come from. Then, thanks to local neighbors who stuck with her, she emerged as a project manager in our nonprofit, Task Force Pineapple, where she manages the tour stops of our plays and connects with hundreds of veterans, fiercely advocating for suicide prevention by telling her story from the stage.
Ben Owen barely made it into his enlistment before an injury took him down, resulting in a medical discharge.
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These are not isolated examples. There are millions of veterans and military family members imbued with unyielding purpose and possessed with deep, relevant skills to help guide our country through these dark times. Some may take the bull by the horns and find their own way, but others may need a little nudge or an ear to hear their stories in order to find their own path.
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The question is: can we get out of our own way, take the time to get beyond the tired old “thank you for service,” and engage our veterans and their families with a brand-new angle? Our veterans are national assets, and they have a lot to offer in the way of skills and leadership, things our country needs in these dire times.
The return on investment on honest, non-judgmental time spent with our veteran population might just provide America with an empowered population of veterans and family members who are extremely well suited to lead our country, and our children into better days. But without you, our civilian neighbors, it’s just not possible. Veterans and civilians working together to make our country the best it can be for our kids … that’s what this day means to me.
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