When Rights Meet Red Tape
Imagine applying for something as fundamental as a concealed carry permit and discovering you’ll get your interview… in the year your grandkids graduate high school. Welcome to Los Angeles County, where the Second Amendment has to take a number and sit in the waiting room.
Now, the Department of Justice (yes, the federal government) has decided to sue the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department (LASD) for allegedly dragging its feet on permit applications. This is the DOJ’s first-ever affirmative lawsuit on behalf of gun owners.
Yes, the same DOJ that gun owners usually see as an antagonist just did a full WWE heel-turn entrance: “Ladies and gentlemen, now fighting for the Second Amendment…”
The Numbers Don’t Lie (But They Do Make You Laugh)
- 3,982 applications filed between January 2024 and March 2025.
- 2 approved. No, not 200. Not 20. Just two people made it through the Hunger Games of paperwork.
- 2,768 still pending, like zombies in an administrative purgatory.
- 1,210 withdrawn — presumably because applicants either moved, gave up, or died of old age.
- Some applicants? Booked for interviews in late 2026. That’s not a backlog; that’s a geological epoch.
State law requires responses in 90 days. For LASD, 90 days is apparently just the warm-up period before they actually start reviewing your file. You can renew a passport faster, adopt a puppy faster, maybe even dig the Panama Canal faster.
The Lawsuit Heard Round the Gun World
The DOJ’s complaint is simple: LASD is violating both state law and constitutional rights by treating permits like a raffle prize.
This isn’t just about efficiency; it’s about infringement. The government is saying: if you’re going to restrict guns with permits, you can’t also play “catch us if you can” with the timelines.
For the DOJ, this is a combination of political theater, legal action, and messaging all in one. For gun-rights groups already suing (CRPA, Gun Owners of America, Gun Owners of California, Second Amendment Foundation), it’s vindication: “We told you so, and now the feds agree.”
Delay or Strategy?
So what’s going on in Los Angeles? Two possibilities:
- Overwhelmed Bureaucracy
Maybe LASD truly doesn’t have enough staff. Maybe the paperwork is stacked so high that Sheriff Luna can’t find his desk anymore. And of course, staff shortages are the classic government get-out-of-jail-free card — the Swiss Army knife of excuses. Trash not picked up? Staff shortages. Permits taking two years? Staff shortages. DMV line wraps around the block? Yep, staff shortages. At this point, you almost expect LASD to shrug and say, “Sorry, blame HR. They’re still reviewing applications for the people who are supposed to review your application.” - Passive-Aggressive Gun Control
Or — and this is the funnier/sadder option — maybe dragging out permits is the policy. You can’t outright ban concealed carry, but you can strangle it in red tape until nobody bothers.
It’s the DMV method of gun control: “Sure, you can drive… once we finish processing your application in four fiscal years.”
The Interview Problem: Rights Don’t Need Personality Tests
Here’s another wrinkle nobody wants to admit: why is there even an interview in the first place?
Think about it. A constitutional right should not depend on how well you answer a sheriff’s deputy’s pop quiz. The entire setup is subjective:
- One applicant comes across nervous = denied.
- Another applicant cracks a joke the deputy doesn’t like = denied.
- Someone shows up in the “wrong” shirt = denied.
It’s the Bill of Rights turned into an episode of American Idol. Instead of “you’re going to Hollywood,” it’s “you’re going to wait another 18 months while we ‘think about it.’”
No one has to sit through a government interview to publish a blog post, attend church, or refuse to quarter soldiers. Why should the right to bear arms be filtered through small talk with a county official?
And let’s be real: most of these “interviews” probably feel like a trip to the principal’s office. All that’s missing is a clipboard and the line: “We’ll let you know if you’re trustworthy enough for your constitutional rights.”
Reality TV Idea: Real Gun Permits of L.A.
This whole mess feels like a Bravo spin-off:
- Episode 1: “You’re Approved… In 2028!”
- Episode 2: “Background Checks and Backstabbers.”
- Reunion Special: “Did You Get Your Permit or Just More Paperwork?”
Tune in weekly to watch applicants wither into fossils while deputies shuffle paper. The tagline? “Coming soon, assuming HR hires someone to process the cast list.”
The Constitutional Clock Is Ticking
The courts already sided with applicants once, forcing LASD to shorten delays and opening the door for non-residents to apply starting April 2025. The DOJ lawsuit piles on more pressure: the Constitution doesn’t run on “L.A. time.”
Every day of delay becomes a legal landmine. Because when your state law says 90 days but you’re operating on 730 days, that’s not a backlog — that’s contempt dressed in khaki. If the IRS ever tried this stunt, tax season would still be going for your 2019 return.
Why This Matters Beyond L.A.
If the DOJ wins, the ripple effects will be felt in every other slow-moving California county. Bureaucrats everywhere will suddenly discover how calendars work.
If the DOJ loses, LASD will have essentially proven that “shall issue” can be turned into “shall issue… whenever we feel like it, maybe never.” That would be a dangerous precedent wrapped in a polite shrug. And no doubt, another round of press releases about, you guessed it, staff shortages.
Comic Relief: Applicant Quotes That Should Be Real
“They told me to check back after the next Olympics.”
“I withdrew my application, not because I wanted to, but because my permit expired before it even existed.”
“Good news: my concealed carry permit got approved! Bad news: it came in the mail with my AARP card. “The county said my interview was delayed due to staffing shortages. Ironic, because I’m applying for the job of protecting myself.”
Hurry Up and Wait
The DOJ suing Los Angeles over concealed carry delays is like suing a turtle for reckless speeding. But here we are. We do, however, appreciate their effort to finally jump on board to protect citizens’ constitutional rights — as they’re supposed to, representing America rather than slow-walking it.
At stake isn’t just whether Angelenos get permits faster. It’s whether constitutional rights can be buried under paperwork, slow-walked until they’re irrelevant.
For now, the applicants wait, the DOJ flexes, and LASD shrugs. And somewhere, two lucky permit holders are walking around like they just won the Powerball.
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