Who Is Lyle Menendez's Estranged Wife? All About Rebecca Sneed — and Why She's Still Standing By Him Amid Their Separation

After over 20 years together, Lyle Menendez and his wife, Rebecca Sneed, have separated.

In 1996, Menendez and his brother, Erik, were sentenced to life in prison for the 1989 first-degree murders of their parents, Kitty and José Menendez. Before they were sentenced, Menendez had already been communicating with Sneed via letters since 1993.

Menendez married Sneed from prison in November 2003. On Nov. 21, 2024, however, Sneed announced that she and Menendez had separated, bringing their two-decade-long relationship to an end.

Although Menendez has been behind bars for years, he told PEOPLE in January 2017 that his constant communication with Sneed helped bring him “peace and joy” while in prison.

“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events,” Menendez said.

He added, “I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me … It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”

So who is Lyle Menendez’s estranged wife? Here’s everything to know about Rebecca Sneed and her relationship with the convict.

Who is Lyle Menendez’s estranged wife?

Sneed, a former magazine journalist and editor, transitioned into a career as an attorney after marrying Menendez. She currently resides in Sacramento, Calif., nearby to where her husband was imprisoned at the beginning of their marriage.

A prison spokesperson told the Associated Press in 2003 that Menendez and Sneed had known each other for a decade before they wed, per NBC News. They communicated through letters while he was in prison.

In January 2017, Menendez admitted to PEOPLE that he felt “guilty” about what Sneed had to cope with as his wife.

“People are judgmental, and she has to put up with a lot,” Menendez said. “But she has the courage to deal with the obstacles. It would be easier to leave, but I’m profoundly grateful that she doesn’t.”

Sneed also manages the official Menendez brothers’ Facebook page, which serves as a network of support for survivors of abuse and provides updates on their case.

When did Lyle Menendez and Rebecca Sneed get married?

Menendez married Sneed in November 2003, according to NBC News.

The couple tied the knot in a ceremony at Mule Creek State Prison near Sacramento, with about a dozen friends and family in attendance in a maximum security visiting area, KXTV-TV in Sacramento reported at the time.

Following their nuptials, the newlyweds were not allowed conjugal visits, as they are prohibited for those sentenced to life without parole under California law.

But in January 2017, Menendez told ABC News that they discovered ways to keep their marriage “healthy” behind bars.

“I’ve found I can have a healthy marriage that is complicated and built around conversation and finding creative ways to communicate, sharing, without all the props that are normally there in marriage in terms of going out to dinner and having as much intimate time together and so on,” he said.

What has Rebecca Sneed said about the brothers’ case?

Although she hasn’t done any formal interviews, Sneed frequently uses Facebook to share updates about the Menendez brothers’ trial and ongoing legal battle.

In October 2024, following the surge of interest sparked by Netflix’s Monsters: The Erik and Lyle Menendez Story, she expressed outrage online at people dressing up as them for Halloween, condemning it as “utterly disgusting.”

“Lyle and Erik are not characters. They are real people who have been suffering trauma since the day they were born,” Sneed wrote on Facebook.

When did Lyle Menendez and Rebecca Sneed separate?

On Nov. 21, Sneed announced via Facebook that she and Menendez have been separated “for a while now” but continue to be “best friends and family.”

“Guys! This is NOT a cheating scandal … I continue to run his Facebook pages, with input from him, and I am forever committed to the enduring fight for Lyle and Erik’s freedom, as has been so evident over the years,” she wrote.

Sneed added that she believes “we all have the common goal of seeing the guys walk free,” writing that she will “never stop fighting for them.”